For relationship and love enthusiasts, the five love languages are like the sexy cousin of astrology and Meyers Briggs personality types. They get people into thinking not just how they show affection but how they receive it and offer a glimpse into how the subtle actions and communications that make up the bulk of any relationship actually translate for the folks involved. Plus, they’re just fun.

For the uninitiated, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman is the book where these ideas come from. Basically, Chapman suggests that these five ways of expressing love — words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving or receiving, physical touch and quality time — are fundamental ways to understand how we show the people we care about that we care about them. It’s really sweet, yes, and it helps you get a better read on what your partner is communicating to you (even if they aren’t a words of affirmation kind of person).

So maybe your partner isn’t great a saying the perfect, sweetest words when you need to hear them most but they’re willing to do the dishes for you even when it’s supposed to be your turn. Odds are, they aren’t a “words of affirmation” person but are most definitely an “act of service person.” Or, let’s say, you hate receiving gifts but love cuddle time on the couch — you are not a “gift” person but are totally a “quality time” person. Make sense? Take the quiz if you’re not totally sure.

If you know your partner’s love language, here’s our advice on the best sexy Valentine’s Day presents you can pick up for them to blow them away. (Just make sure they don’t capital-H Hate receiving gifts first — because that’d defeat the purpose).

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